i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize