do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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