Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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