I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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