Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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