Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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