I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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