I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize