no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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