i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
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IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
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This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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