Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
These tits shall not be calmed
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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