Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize