You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
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I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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