why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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