Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
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Are my feet made of real feet?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize