i think my tv is drunk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize