I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize