I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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