Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize