All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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