Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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