Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize