It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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