my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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