I want to make a zoo with you.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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