All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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