Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
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herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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