I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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