$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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