party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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