a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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