Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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