Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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