saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize