the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize