she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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