guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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