I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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