On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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