i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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