drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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