i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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