He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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