I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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