Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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