how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i will never coherently bang her
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize