she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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