After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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