Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize