I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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